Friday, September 30, 2011


So, yeah.  I am going to give an excuse now for why I haven't updated in a  long time.  It is going to be the excuse that everyone gives for every situation since the beginning of time.  I've been soooooo busy.

While I have been busy, I'm sure I could have updated a little here and there. But I didn't.  Soo here is a short little post about what has been going on.

I quit my juice fast after 14 days.  8 Days into the juice fast my juicer broke, soo I was drinking Naked Juice Smoothies almost exclusively.  Now you wouldn't think that switching from juicing fruits and veg yourself to a very healthy juice smoothy would bring your weight loss to a screeching halt.  But it did.  By the end of the 14 days I was getting dizzy and light headed, mostly due to the fact that I didn't drink enough juice towards the end of the day.  On day 14 I had lost a total of 32 lbs.

I didn't stay on a diet like i said I was going to.  After the fast, I tried to limit the bad stuff I was eating.  I did that a little bit.  I think I've gained 4-5 pounds back since then.  I am ready to get back on track.  I have to reach my goal.  I will reach it, even if it kills me.  Well....maybe not.

My goal for this next week is to be back to my post juicing weight.  228lbs by next Friday.  I know I can do it.  But will I give in to the pressures of fatty food?  Join me next week and we will see.

Sunday, July 24, 2011

Short and Sweet

I was waiting to be finished with a week of juicing to write another blogpost.  I meant to write about it this morning but I was kinda busy.   I am just going to do bullet points instead of trying to write in sentences.

-Before I started the Juice Fast I had lost 18 lbs. I weighed 242.
- I juiced for 7 days.
- The first 2 days sucked big time.
- At the end of the first 7 days I lost another 14 lbs.
- That is a total of 32 lbs.
- Not having good solid food is getting old, fast.

So I have revamped my plan for this juice fast.  I plan on juicing for 30 days or until I lose 40 lbs, which ever comes first.  It sucks that I will still be juicing when mine and Val's anniversary comes around, cause I'd really like to go out to dinner to celebrate.

I'm not going to post photos of myself until the very end. So if you want to see what I look like, you'll have to see me at church.  Central Vineyard in Clintonville if you don't already have a church and want to go somewhere.

I want some tacos or pizza right about now.  Sucks.  When I finish I'm going to reward myself with a small portion of something good, because I know my stomach is probably the size of an egg right about now.

Keep this image of me in your head til I'm done.

Monday, July 18, 2011

I'm Not Enjoying This.

I started my juice fast on Sunday morning, so today is day two.  Val has been juicing enough so that we only have to make it once a day.  We got on the Fat, Sick & Nearly Dead website and looked at all the different recipes.

Sundays recipe was as follows:

1 Apple
2 Beets
3 Large Carrots
1 Piece Ginger (thumb sized)

Here is how that went down.
Blogger sucks so it won't let me embed the video.

Plus it made my urine a light pink color.

Consensus....It was awful.  I don't know if it was the beets or the ginger or a mixture of both, but I will never drink that crap again.  It took all that was in me not to let it come back up.  As if drinking this stuff wasn't bad enough, val started making some sort of Nachos around 6pm yesterday.  I couldn't handle it, so I went downstairs and fell asleep......for 4 hours!  Good thing I have an awesome wife who not only fed the kids, but put them to bed while I took a 4 hour nap.  

I am going to say this.  That guy who made this documentary had it easy. 1. He didn't have to make food for other people while he was drinking this crap.  2. All of it is based inside a documentary, so there is no way that he can give up because there is way to much wrapped up in it.  3.  He is going to make a bunch of money selling copies of the movie, plus he'll make a Joe Cross juicer and make more money.......sigh. Maybe I'm just hungry and tired and want to complain about how much easier it was for him.  

Today wasn't as bad.  Apples, Oranges and Ginger.  Ginger is not good.  It totally ruins the fruit juice by making your throat burn. Hopefully the fact that I can't stress enough how much this sucks, is motivation for you to do the same thing that I am. :)   

As far as how I feel, I feel unmotivated, sore, tired, blah.  Hopefully this changes over the next day or so.          Not enough energy for a smooth segway.  Here are some photos. I'll post again later this week. Maybe.

1 Weeks worth of food.

Disgusting Beet juice.

Less disgusting Apple/Pear juice.

Saturday, July 9, 2011

19lbs Down!

I feel very encouraged as I write this blogpost today. Half of It is probably because I am typing this on an iPad, and it makes me feel really cool. But the actual reason is that I have a plan. I have a plan to jumpstart not only my weight loss, but my road to healthy eating. Up to this point, eating heathly was a distant second to losing weight. Btw...I've lost 19lbs, as of this morning. Booya! For the first time in years I can look down and see my....belt buckle?

Why am I encouraged you might ask? I watched a documentary. For anyone who is close to me, this is no real news. I watch a documentary nearly every night. I have strong opinions on the truth about September 11th, And I want to punch Billy Mitchell in the crotch. This documentary deals with Detoxing and resetting your system. The documentary is called Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead.   Watch it on Netflix.  It is very well done and eye opening.

Here is the trailer.

So as soon as I get a juicer I will be on my way to "Rebooting" my body. My plan is to do this diet for 30 days. After the juice fast I will be trying to stick to a Micronutrient filled diet. Vegetables, fruit, beans, and nuts. That mixed with other healthy food options should shove me quite a bit closer to my first goal of 180 pounds. I am super excited to start this experiment. You won't be able to recognize me in a few months.

Not much else to say really.

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Man Boobies & A Trip To GAP

So I haven't posted anything in a while.  I don't feel like I have interesting things to talk about every day or even every week.  Or maybe I didn't want to post anything because I haven't been doing anything groundbreaking.  I have been really busy and a lot of things have been going on, plus I like to spend time with my wife and kids.  Those things have been more important to me than posting or exercising.

I have actually been stuck at 13 lbs weights lose for a week or so.  Most of this is due to the fact that I haven't been exercising much outside of walking around.  Plus last weekend Val and I didn't have the kids and we went out to eat a couple times.  I wanted to get something that I haven't eaten in a long time.  We went to Bar Louie in the arena district with some friends and I decided to have a reprieve night.  I got a burger (gasp!)with the bun. and fries. and a coke.  Sue me.  Was it the best choice for me?  Yes it was. :)  It was orgasmic.  We'll not literally. But you know what I mean.  I may need to go back to telling everyone what I eat every day.  I think being lax on that has made me less accountable, and has allowed me to make not so good choices.  I mean I'm not eating whole tombstone pizzas anymore, but I could be making better choices.

Pretty sure I need more fiber in my diet.  I'll let you guess what that means.  I mean, I'm not getting bread or anything with wheat, which is where I get most of my fiber normally.  I'm told vegetables have it in them. If only they didn't taste terrible It would be easier.  I have been sporadically taking Juice Plus, but Val says even If I took it every day I would still need to eat more fruits and vegetables which is crap because I am told each time I take the recommended amount of Juice Plus that I get like 2 servings of fruits and 2 servings of vegetables.  So if I take enough for 10 servings of fruits and veggies, I only need to take ....(counting on fingers) 40 capsules a day?  I would almost rather do that.  Then I can spend my calories on things that kind of taste good.

**Disclaimer: Not everything I say on this blog is 100% truth.  A lot is intended to be comical.  I am not exactly as ignorant about food as I come across. But I am serious about how much I dislike the taste of most vegetables.  I can't help it.  Val knows more about this stuff than anyone I know so, I know what I should be doing.**

Went clothes shopping today.  Me and Caleb.  That shows you just how awesome our jobs are.  :)  I tried on some shorts and a short sleeve button up.  I can ALMOST wear a large shirt and be comfortable.    Pants and shorts are always weird at places with nice clothes.  I have big thighs so I have to go with bigger pants sometime because of this fact.  I can wear size 36 jeans, but the 38 shorts fit today.  Annoying.    Here are some photos, I need to lose a little bit more weight to feel comfortable in this shirt. It starts pulling apart in the middle because of my boobies (which shouldn't be there).

I bought this outfit anyway.

So this day was kind of a wake up call to hit this weight loss thing hard.  Really be consistant with some exercise, eating small frequent meals, staying under my caloric intake, drinking lots of water, and trying to force some vegetables into me into my diet.   I do see a difference in what I look like, I'm starting to look less fat.  But I must not be content.  180lbs is my first goal.  The big one.  Then I will reassess and see what needs to be done.  I refuse to fail.  For my sake and for the sake of my wife and family.

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Is Kate Moss Right?

"Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels."  This is a moto that Kate Moss lives by.  While some people are firmly against this mindset, I am not so sure.  I am not skinny by any stretch of the word, but since I've lost a little bit of weight I can say that this weight loss feels better mentally than most food.  Besides Hounddogs pizza. And Ray Ray's BBQ. And Sprecher Root Beer. And Jeni's Pistachio and Honey ice cream.   (The best way to lose weight is to constantly think of the most delicious food that you shouldn't eat a bunch of)
    If you have been fat in the past, then lost a bunch of weight,  you probably can understand what Kate is saying.  I hope to have a very good perspective on this in a few months.

I ran on saturday. By 'ran', I mean jogged. And by 'jogged' I mean flailed my sweaty body up and down the back streets of North Clintonville.  I tried to stick to the back streets of the rich neighborhood that lies directly south of where we live .  I didn't want anyone I knew to see me in this state.  And since none of my friends are rich, I chose this very specific location. Of course I jogged with pristine form down my street on the way home, to impress the neighbors. I walk in the door. Light headed. Slight Headache. Thick white spit.  I can see why people love this.  Idiots.

I weighed myself this morning and I've lost 13 lbs. I started this experiment 14 days ago.  I am feeling good.  I'll probably run tomorrow morning for the second time.  Hopefully the soreness in my legs doesn't last as long as it did the first time.  Maybe I'll start jogging in places that no one else does.  Like the mall.  Or Hilltop.

I probably need to get more serious about losing the weight.  I know I have lost 13 lbs but I don't feel like I earned it.  I haven't done very much at all.  36 followers are watching me, and I need to do something entertaining.  Maybe post some videos.  We'll look into that.


Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Chubby Hipsters

So I have lost 10 lbs. I am 2 and half weeks ahead of schedule for my goal for the month. That is pretty exciting. I actually weighed myself Sunday morning and I was 10.5lbs down. Then Monday I gained a little back, so I didn't want to post about my weight until I got back to that point.

I still look the same, which isn't surprising. Still chubby. I am putting off exercising for some reason. Well...not "some" reason. It's because I don't like the feeling of being out of breath or being sweaty. I also like to tell myself that if I start Jogging that I'll hurt myself because of the weight and the impact of that weight on my joints, and that it would be safer to do that after I've lost more weight. Excuses. But if losing weight was easy everyone would be fit.

When I lose weight I'm gonna wear skinny jeans and v necks that show my belly button just because. I'm gonna wear glasses when I don't need them. I can't do these things now because there is nothing worse than a chubby hipster.


I am still keeping track of my calories.  Mostly smoothies for breakfast, sometimes they have protein powder.  Lunch-I've been keeping it to chicken and things of the like.  Snacks have been low calorie things or fruit.  Dinner-Sometimes Cereal.  

I have 28 followers.  That's kinda weird.  It's nice, all these people keep me from falling back into the bad habits.  I really do want to eat a whole pizza  or get some Mt. Dew, i hope that feeling goes away.  Thanks people.

Monday, June 6, 2011

Gag Reflex

I'm struggling to think of a way to keep this blog interesting.  People tell me they like it and that puts pressure on me, which sucks cause I got lots of stuff to do.  I could make up stuff that didn't happen or I could think of some drama to add to it to make people feel like they are watching a tv show.    We'll just see how it goes, I guess.

Went to Zanesville the other day for some business stuff.  Cool buildings and a good place to go if you are looking for antiques and stuff but don't want to pay Columbus prices.  I ate a salad for lunch that day on the road, which is a first.  Not sure that I've ever just eaten a salad for a whole meal before.  I put some balsamic vinaigrette on it so I didn't gag on all that vegetation.  Is it just me, or do you have to chew each bite of salad like 400 times before it is cut up enough to swallow?  Salad probably isn't even good for you, you just burn a ton of calories from chewing it.    Later I had an apple for a snack.  Can't remember what I did for dinner.  Something good I'm sure.   No more time to chatter.  I have to get stuff done.  Caleb is in Wyoming for 2 weeks so I have to do more work that normal.

Some photos.

Salad from Giant Eagle. Had to put some chicken in there.

Then I saw a building in zanesville that I want to buy. 

Then I ate an apple for America.  

I hope to have more interesting things to talk about later.  

Friday, June 3, 2011

Soon I Won't Be Able To Do The Truffle Shuffle Anymore

So I think I need to get like a tractor seat for my bike.  My michael Taint is sore. (Sorry for the lame 90's christian subculture reference)  Just from that 20 min bike ride the other day.  Ugh.  Ok, I like to get the bad news out of the way first. That was the bad news jsyk.

Good News:  I weighed myself this morning.  254.5lbs   5 1/2 lbs lost in 4 days.   That's Biggest Loser kind of results.   Well, let's be honest.  That's more like the results of a girl on The Biggest Loser.  

That is the best motivation I can have.  If I didn't lose any weight in the first week or so I was going to only wear small t-shirts until I lost the weight.  

Yesterday I went to Cincy for a funeral.  We got there early to spend time with Val's family.  They have a pool at their apartment complex.  So I decided that I should swim with the kids.  Just because you have a funeral to go to doesn't mean that you can't do some cardio.  Normally I just sit in a chair by the pool because I don't really feel like taking my shirt off in front of people that I don't know.  I would always use the excuse that "I don't really like swimming".  Growing up, I was the kid at the pool who wore his t shirt while swimming.  All because, one time I got made fun of by a boy 2 years younger than me. He made fun of my boy boobs and that was that.  10 years of being self conscious.  But what that kid said is in my mind now, driving me to reach my goal.   Thanks dude.  

Okay! Good memory.

I don't know if I'm going to post every day what I ate or not.    Let me know what you think.  Since we were out of town I had to eat out 2 meals.  Well, i didn't have to, but I'm not great at planning ahead.

Breakfast- Homemade smoothie (Bananas, strawberries, carrots, Yogurt and Home grown Kefir. 24oz.

Lunch- Chipotle Burrito Bowl (Chicken, beans and hot salsa only)

Snack- 2 Rice Cakes

Dinner- Naked Tenders and 1/2 order of buffalo chips.

       Calories:  1371
      Swimming:  200
1171 calories.

These numbers may be off.  I didn't do much in the pool since I don't know how to swim laps very well.  I almost drown every time.  I turn my head to take a breath and since I weigh so much my head isn't completely out of the water and I breath in a cup of water instead.  Kinda hard to keep a good pace doing that.

Not the best day for food.  Need some vegetables.  I am going to start taking Juice Plus today.  So that should help, while i try to introduce them into my regular diet.  Time to get to work.

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Cardio is stupid

I thought you were supposed to feel good after some cardio.  I feel like I'm gonna trow up. (Yes I spelled that right)  And my my neck hurts when I turn it to the right.  I broke out the old 1974 Latour. Wait...I mean the 1974 Le Tour.  100lbs of pressure in the tires, while my face is turned to the side (because I'm afraid the tire will explode and put my eye out.)   Threw on my new Cincinnati, Ohio T-shirt from Fringe Outfitters.  iPod on shuffle.  22minutes later I feel like crap.

Some people have been tracking what I'm eating and think I need more vegetables.  Tell me in the bible where it says you need 5-8 servings of veggies everyday.  ....Crickets chirping....    I gotta introduce them slowly into my system.  I don't want to shock my body by throwing stuff at it that it doesn't recognize as food.  Side note: Some people also don't consider sucking ranch dressing off a carrot is eating vegetables. Whatever.

Here is what I ate.


                       (not actual photo)
Lunch-Chipotle. Chicken bowl.  No lettuce or rice.  Basically just Chicken and Pinto Beans.
Snack-Peanuts and 1 Carrot.

Dinner- Rice Chex.  w/ FUDGE SAUCE! (#notafactualstatement)

Dessert- 1 bottle of Lost Trail Root Beer.

Total:  1466 calories.
                          -345 calories Exercise
1121 Calories.

Now I'm gonna watch some Parks and Recreation with my sexy wife. In Bed.   and no, that isn't code. Wink.

Good night.

Day 1 Complete

So day one was pretty easy.  I signed up for that stupid MyFitnessPal. I didn't think I wanted to count calories.  But that program is pretty sweet.   I added up all my calories for the day and they totaled around 1100.   MyFitnessPal thinks my goal should be 1650.   So, I win, I guess.   I don't want any comments about "You should be eating more calories"  Or "You can eat less calories and then splurge a little on dessert or something"   Splurging is what makes people fat.   Here is what I ate.

Breakfast-Chocolate/Banana Smoothie w/ espresso.  270 Calories

Lunch- Chicken Curry w/ potatos and some rice (whole foods hot bar). 400 calories

For a snack, I had a single kernel of popcorn.  .001 Calories.

Dinner-Rice Chex w/ Snowville Skim Milk. A bunch.  420 calories 

Grand Total:   1090.001 calories.  

Didn't drink as much water as I should have.  Maybe 32oz all day.  I'll do better today.

I might even start doing something that resembles exercise.  Maybe I'll get bone extensions in my legs so I can eventually look like Andy Malone.

Hopefully we'll see some results.  If not, I'm going to do a Rocky Montage every day until something happens.

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Levi is a Fatty.

I am Levi.  I am 5'8" and I weigh 260lbs.  

I stopped being skinny around the age of 10. I think.  I have not had much motivation to lose weight in my life.  I lost 30 pounds 6 years ago when I started doing the Atkins diet.  I'm sure Mr. Atkins wouldn't have approved of the way I went about doing it but, oh well.  I ordered Triple burgers from Wendy's and took off the bun.  Meat, cheese, and Eggs for a few months, combined with working in a lumber yard in the summer tricked my body into shedding quite a few pounds.  I liked the track I was on.  But gained it all back after introducing the carbs back into my "diet".  

You'd think my dad dying from cancer would have changed my diet, seeing as how his ailment was probably brought on by his food consumption.  You'd think back problems, snoring, and heavy breathing would make me rethink what I am putting into my body.  It didn't.   

I have no idea why I feel so motivated right now.  But I'll take the motivation anyway it comes.  My ideal weight is 180 lbs. So, I decided to make the math easy on me.  Lose 10lbs a month and in 8 months i will be at my goal.  From there who knows?  I haven't been 180 since 8th grade probably.  

This blog is going to be pretty simple and straight forward. I don't want to take too much time on these blog posts.  I will post what I ate that day and will update my weight whenever I feel like it.

I want to be able to shop easily for clothes instead of searching the bottom of the pile of clothes at H&M for the XL's and hoping they even make that size.  I want to wear a suit and not look like this.  I would rather my clothes fit like this.    I'm sure my wife will appreciate me a little more, since I'll be taking 30% less space in the bed when we are sleeping.  I'm rambling.

Check back frequently if you care to see how things are going.  Now a bunch of photos of me.  I tried to find the least flattering. I am feeling really vulnerable right now.  Oh well.  :)